Doing life single, spring break Edition.

I’m driving home! Bend to Carmel. I haven’t done that in over 10 years! And probably over 15 since I’ve done it without Troy by my side…I was nervous at the thought of it. I’ve never driven a reliable car lol but Troy is a competent dude so I never had to worry about it. And it feels sad. Another step into single life. Another small loss to mourn. An absence of the good, safe companion he was in my life. I mean, clearly we separated for a reason and there are good parts, but there are also the losses. 

It is good to have my complete freedom. No judgement, no second opinions to navigate. And it is fun to be doing this with just the kids (between the overwhelming overwhelm of all their needs and questions!!! LOL). As we got into Weed there were cedars and more green. And once we hit the Sacramento Valley there was green green grass and budding leaves on the trees. Even this ugly part of California is SO PRETTY!!!! Ellie and I rejoiced. How can I make it work in Carmel Valley, I wonder. Every. Time. I. Return…

But also, Troy easily could still be with us today. Really, he’s mainly home this week just because of work and that he’s been to my folks house enough times that he’s just kinda bored there. This summer we’ll do some family camping. Next spring break we might go somewhere new all together. And he and I have several texts back and forth about how the trip is proceeding. As well as with a new man I am interested in. It is seriously amazing to be able to both step into singledom AND maintain my family all at the same time.